Living a dull life has never been for me. I moved to New Zealand at 21, I moved to Delaware for love at 25, I’m trying to convince a boy from Kansas to let me come see him. I don’t ever want to spend my life wondering “What if.” I NEED to know the outcome because I only have one regret so far in life and that’s for not coming out sooner and getting to be happy for a change.
Needless to say, much like everyone, some extra money would be nice to pay down some debt, but how do I get it when my 40 hour a week job zaps all extra energy I would have for a second job. I decided to put myself on seeking arrangements MONTHS ago. I was contacted by a ‘sugar daddy’ named Ben who seemed normal and a no bullshit knew what he wanted, and didn’t have time to waste. He was supposedly in his 40s, lived in Manhattan New York, and owned a construction business.
We’ve talked for about a month, not too seriously and I never sent one nude pic (scandalous pics are a different story). He never asked me to come up and see him and replied intermittently throughout the day and when he had time. Things instantly seemed fishy when he didn’t lose interest in me like most daddies would have.
That’s when the weird requests started coming in.
“Open a checking account with my bank baby and make sure to opt for clickswitch and overdraft protection. It’ll make it easier to get you your allowance” Was the first weird request he asked me to do. “Ummm if I sign up for a checking account I’m not doing the overdraft protection, I minored in finance and my job is a finance administrator. I’m pretty sure I can maintain the balance of the account and not overdraft.”
He didn’t push that one on me and slowly I forgot about it. Then on Wednesday, he sent me his bank account info to pay off two of my credit cards. I have never met this man in person nor spoken to him on the phone and he openly and willingly gives me his bank account info… Okay?
I messaged him this morning (being a good sugar baby and pretending like I actually gave a shit about this guy) and said good morning, he then started acting completely different. Started talking about the accounts he paid off and asking me if they posted and I said yeah both posted (but I didn’t tell him there was a hold on it) and he wanted me to go get “20 or so” $100 separate Amazon gift cards because he had supplies he needed to get for his job that he shorted himself by paying off my shit. I told him this seemed fishy…
How could someone who supposedly has lots of money to just drop $6400 on someone else’s credit cards not have kept a reserve in the account or said: “pay off one card but wait until I get payment from this client tomorrow before you do your next card.” I even checked with him before I submitted the payments and he told me to go ahead.
Further on, he started name calling me and trying to manipulate me. Saying he’s got enough for his employees or enough for supplies but not both. Wages were 4700 and all he had was 5k cash and supplies were going to be at least 2k (conveniently almost the exact amount he supposedly paid off.)
He told me I was an ingrate and continued name calling and dropping large vocabulary words like obdurate but consistently used the wrong form of ‘your’. Things just weren’t adding up and so I had to call my besty to get an outside perspective. I explained part of the situation and she told me uhh no sweetie, this is a scam, pull your head out of your ass.
I won’t lie, I was almost suckered into it. That is until I noticed that my bank had put a hold on the funds since it was a large pay off amount and I LUCKILY only had 7 dollars available of my credit line and he doesn’t know how much my other cards limit is so I just kept quiet about it. He started demanding that I get these cards before noon (or else, basically) and I told him I called Discover and they said my current line of credit was 7 dollars until the payment fully processed in 24 to 48 hours.
After I told him this and he wanted screenshots of my account calling me a liar and putting words in my mouth, I offered to have discover call him and tell him what they told me and then he wanted my credit card number and full social security number and the last correspondence I had given him was that I would be reversing both payments as soon as they processed and he can have his money back (basically that this isn’t going to work)
Once I confirmed my gut feeling was correct about this being a scam I wasn’t sure what to do. This man had more info on me then I have on him. He’s got my resume (which has my address and work experience), luckily all of our conversation is saved in my text so if I ended up using someone else’s account to pay off my credit cards then I at least have all this shit in writing so they know I didn’t intentionally steal someone’s identity and bank account number and stuff.
I talked to Discover told them the situation and they told me I did the right thing by not giving him my information (at least my cc # and SSN). They noted my account so if/when the payment comes back as denied or the cops show up and start asking me questions I can at least say I took the necessary precautions and alerted my banks to this unfortunate mishap.
I like to consider myself pretty smart and steps ahead. I knew the entire time this sounded fishy and exactly like all the craigslist scams I’ve heard of. But the allure of being debt free and hanging on to a tiny shred of hope this was legit left me vulnerable. The person tried to bully me, harass me, manipulate me, and scold me into submission and quite frankly, it almost worked. You need to be vigilant and as the Discover person told me, “If something seems too good to be true…it probably is” (Also, fuck you dude, I just had my debt paid off and now I have to call you saying reverse the payment and put me back in debt, you just had to add salt to the wound didn’t you?)
Has this ruined my experience? No. Am I going to get off Seeking Arrangements? Probably yes. Not because of my experience or that I’m bitter for this experience just because I met someone I actually truly care about and was reason enough for me to delete all the old pictures of my ex off my digital drives and phone.
If you guys are thinking you want a sugar daddy, by all means, Seeking Arrangements is the site to go on and see who in your state is offering up money for companionship and intimacy. I just want to remind everyone to be careful of who you talk to on the internet and never ever give out your personal information.
The final thing to leave you on, my ‘sugar daddy’ just tried calling me and has sent two messages saying “Hey” and “Can I see your face baby” and quite frankly I’m a bit afraid. If I end up murdered the guy’s name is Ben and that’s about all I know.
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